By Alice G.
How To Know If I Should Get Back With My Ex – So, you both had something special but along the line something happened and you just had to call it quits. You’ve thought about it and you are not sure of what to do. In this post, you will get to learn if the flame can still be rekindled.
You’ve come to realize that you have been searching for someone special like him but you have not been able to see any, and now you are thinking if going back to him is the right decision. You keep asking yourself if it was really that bad when you were together. On the other hand, he keeps showing you he really wants to get back with you. Now, the big question is, if you should stay or run as fast as possible.
SO, HOW DO YOU KNOW IF YOU SHOULD GET BACK WITH HIM?
This is how we help you make the right decision:
Do you see any change in his life?
This is the first thing you need to consider. Is he better than when you were together? Has he worked on or has he made
Have I made adjustments to the things he didn’t like about me?
Take a deep breath and think about what pissed him off about you when you were together and see what you have been able to do in fixing it. You can come up with a list and see how far you have progressed. The truth is, if it upset him then, it will likely upset him now even more than before. You definitely do not want a situation where he will be telling you “I thought you would have grown, you know I never liked that about you… etc.”
Are you both single or is any of you seeing someone?
It’s possible that one of you moved on after the breakup. This is why it’s important that you talk about this as early as possible to find out if one of you is seeing someone already. You might want to go beyond believing the words of the other person and look for proof yourself.
Is there transparency between you two?
Any successful relationship is built on good communication. Take some time to talk about where you went wrong before, work on rectifying it and let him do the same also. However, this might be a bit hard especially if one of you really wants both of you to be back as fast as possible because doing this might trigger some negative responses, which might lead to slowing the chances of you getting back together. But the most important thing is to avoid any heartbreak that might happen in the future, and talking about these things help you think and see better.
Are you considering this because of loneliness?
Ask yourself why you are considering getting back with him. Is it that you’ve had no luck with your recent boyfriends? Or that you have not been able to find anyone like him? See, most rekindled relationships that are successful are as a result of two people who choose each other without any baggage. Loneliness is not enough reason to get back with your ex.
If you realize you were both happy and had a good thing going, that’s a good place to start.
Are we open to dating first?
This depends on how long you two have been apart; it’s possible that both of you have changed while apart (hopefully for better). Either way, it’s always a good idea to take it slow. Give yourselves some space to get to know each other again. Walk down the street together, go out for coffee, go to places and try to build a new bond. Why the rush?
Ready for critics?
Believe it or not, some people will never support the idea. But there’s a way to tackle this. Only let people you know love you and want to see you happy know about the possibility of you getting back together. This might be a mentor, friend, a couple you look up to or even a pastor. Tell them about the positive side and the negative side of getting back; they will put you in the right direction. Reflect on their responses and see what’s good for you and what’s not.
What will the reaction of your family/friends and his family/friends be?
After all said and done, you decide that you want to give it another shot. It’s a good idea to make your family and friends understand that it’s what your heart yearns for and both of you have cleared the air. They are your family and friends; they will always support you. In case anyone brings up any negative experience of the past, politely let them know it has all been dealt with to put them on ease. Eventually, they will accept your decision and honor your boundaries.
Take the Quiz
FIND OUT (accurately) if you have a chance of getting your ex back. There are 10 short questions that engage your thoughts on your partner and yourself. Take the quiz and see what your next move should be.