7 Things NEVER to Talk About On A First Date or When You are Getting to Know Him

By Belinda Art

Getting to know someone new can usually become nerve-wracking.  Some of us tend to expect the worst and fear takes the best of us.  Instead of focusing on what could go wrong, stay positive, take deep breaths, and relax.  In other words, prepare to enjoy yourself.  With that in mind, guard yourself with these rules: 


1. Your Past Relationships

This is a very hard topic to keep at bay especially when you are just back on the dating field. It’s obvious that you were with your ex for the longest time and had gotten to a very comfortable zone but keep in mind that whoever you are with on the first date is still a stranger. The date may or may not lead anywhere and talking about past relationships only shows you are still hung up on your ex.

There are instances of course when your date may ask about your ex but even then, keep it at a minimal. Try as much as you can not to go into details and instead concentrate on the date and keep a positive mind on endless possibilities.

2. Reasons Why You’re Single

The cliché question is always the same, “Why is a gorgeous girl like you still single?”  This can be a trick question and more often than not, your answer will determine how the rest of the date will go.

“All men are dogs,” “I don’t have the time to date,” “My ex and I just broke up,” all these are the wrong type of answers you can give when faced with this question.  The only acceptable answer you should give is that you are single because you are enjoying being single for now.

You have to show that you are available but not too available. You do not want to come off as desperate, insecure or snobbish. Giving this answer shows that you are open minded, principled, comfortable in your own skin and looking to have a little fun.

With this said, you will showcase your value and that you are a catch. He will feel that he has met a dime and is even lucky to be on a date with you. To ensure this is done effectively you can use what I like to call the “spark your relationship” technique. Since this is a whole other topic we do not need to digress to today, you can learn more about it on this website and watch the free video presentation. (His Secret Obsession)

3. Family Relations

Just when you think your family is dysfunctional, you should take a walk in someone else’s shoe. Never talk about family on your first date unless your date brings it up. For all you know he may not have any family or worse, have a close family member pass away only recently. This of course can potentially turn the date sour and … you know, awkward.

Talk about family only when he asks you; but if he doesn’t there may be a good reason. 

4. Your Personal Baggage

your personal luggage

Having baggage is not a bad thing. News Flash! Everybody has baggage but it’s NEVER a good idea to bring it with you on your first date.  The last thing you want is the guy running away from you by unleashing your heavy load on him.

Bringing out baggage on the first date takes out the fun in it. Remember you have to be charming enough for him to want a second date with you. Keep it as light and positive as you can on the first date.  Talking about your two kids, their baby daddies, student loans and previous arrests won’t make him want a second date with you.

5. His Finances

If you are not digging for gold, do not ask him about his earning. These include his future career plans, potential promotion, or other monetary focused questions.

A friend once told me that several women on dates had inquired over and over about the brand/model of car he drove. It ticked him off and he cut all of them off immediately. Regardless of how much money he has or don’t have, all men desire to be appreciated for who they are. Give him room to impress you without his financial status. 

6. Gross Topics

The sixth thing you should avoid like a plague is any gross or disgusting topic. For instance, if you are a nurse by profession no guy wants to know about what goes on in the labor room in details. Granted, it is a part of life and a normal process at that but not a topic to discuss with a man you want to find you attractive.

The topics may be interesting and funny; but until you get to that comfort zone with him, keep it clean, fun and light.

7. Sex

If you are seriously looking for a healthy and long-term relationship, your first date really isn’t the time or occasion for bedroom conversation. There are many reasons why first date sex is a bad idea. One main reason being is that most men do not take you seriously the next day.  Where is the dignity in that?

These are 7 things you should never mention on the first date.  However, do not be too conscious of them and try as much as you can to let loose and be comfortable. Be a good listener yet find a balance not to reveal too much.

Keep Learning

Why men lose interest and what you can do about it. Watch the following video where one of our relationship experts James Bauer exposes common mistakes women make and reveals 7 special phrases that help trigger a man’s burning desire to devote himself to a woman. It’s something you can learn once and use for the rest of your life.

Learn the #1 Hidden Reason Men Fall In Love (He’ll Thank You For This) 

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